Emotional Matrix

I have never been able to quite put this into words, as the language doesn’t translate. My hope is that a community such as this will inherently ‘know’ or ‘understand’ what I intend, without me getting the words quite right.

Have you ever noticed that you communicate in non-verbal language with others? I don’t mean telepathy. I mean more….similar to our ability to ‘know’ or ‘feel’ something about a person we encounter, that they did not necessarily intend for us to know.

The language of emotion, or perhaps the language of the ‘clairs’.

I’m reminded of a scene in “What Women Want” where Mel Gibson hears Helen Hunt say “I didn’t realize there was anyone else still here.” and then he “hears” Helen’s thoughts trailing the words that are spoken out loud, And I’m so lonely.

An after thought. A suffix to the sentence that was actually shared out loud for the world to hear, that only I can understand.

I find my ability to read these unspoken thoughts/feelings/needs/intentions make me feel as if I’m the only one who can read the green Matrix garble trailing across the computer monitor.

Only I can interpret the extra, and when I try to speak it aloud, people get uncomfortable.

I’m not sure what causes them to be uncomfortable. Whether I shared something I wasn’t supposed to see (I try not to do this, as I find it’s social suicide), or that they just “don’t get it”.

I find this effect to be extremely evident if I smoke MJ and watch a movie. I think I “understand the director or writer” more than the other movie goers. I ‘feel’ what they intended to convey, that so often gets lost on the casual viewer. I “get it”.

Again, if I try to explain what the director really meant, I get a blank stare.

Am I alone in this? Am I just high? Is my ego so huge I’m making this all up to feel different/special?

I admit I want this to be ‘real’. But I don’t want it to be real for me. What I want is to be the human “Point of View gun” from hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.

I want to bridge the gaps in human communication that are created by our egos. I want to make people understand that we all share fears, and hopes, and dreams, and pains. Remove the veil over people’s eyes that their experience is any more hard or worthwhile than anyone else’s.

Now I just sound crazy, right? Well there it is…