My ‘Hero Dose’ Journey

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” – Vincent Van Gogh

In place of being able to participate in Burning Man, I elected to try a recommended journey I viewed from Dan Hardy on London Real: The Hero Dose night.

I want to write out last night’s experience, but it might take time. My head nearly exploded (metaphor) from all the knowledge I was gifted last night. As I cannot possibly fathom exactly who, or what I was speaking to for 5 hours, you will find my pronouns may flow interchangeably. I can tell you that the voice utilized to speak to me was my own ‘voice’ or ‘inner monologue’, although there was an absolute sense that I was not the one speaking to myself alone…


The three main points:

  1. Remember that free will include how you feel about any given situation.

    That doesn’t mean that you get to control the consequences of your decisions, but any decision that you make we will respond with a new path for you to follow

    This means that it’s your decision to feel in control or out of control, your decision whether to pay bills and have a roof over your head, your decision whether to feel anxiety happiness jealousy or sadness

Which brings me to

  1. The world and life itself, everything that you can see touch hear smell breathe is all a gift to ourselves.

    The body that you ride around in, the emotions that you feel the pain and anguish the elation to love every bit of it is a gift. Think what the world would be like if there were no emotions for which you could process it?

    How dull and lifeless would life itself be?

    So you’re welcome to feel sad, you’re welcome to feel jealousy, and let your ego run wild; that’s your choice. Every single day everything you do, every emotion you feel about a situation, is your choice

  1. You have permission to be yourself

    This one really hurt my head. We struggle all of our lives to find acceptance for who we are, for the choices we make, for the path that we’re on. Last night I received the ultimate permission to just live my life!

If life itself and free will itself are both gifts to us, it means everyone has free will. It doesn’t matter what you want someone to think about you, they have the free will to think what they please, and so do you! So you can decide to worry about what they think, or you can choose not to!

  • They basically said that our purpose is no larger than to just go through life. And that is of itself, the greatest purpose of all! We are here for no other reason than to go through life, and we can choose how or when to appreciate it.

If you choose to be happy, you will be. Life will continue regardless of your selection.

  • They said that we are all ONE. Every single hair, every single microbe on this planet, everything about us is all from the same.

Jim Carrey, President Obama, my dad, you, we all stem from the same. The All.wpid-img_227016176488041.jpeg

So that’s why war and hurting each other feel so strange, it’s because we’re hurting ourselves. But that’s our choice. We can decide to hurt ourselves if we want to.

The universe (we) will adjust our consequences accordingly

  • She brought up a point about debt, (that I could choose not to pay it.) Technically that’s my choice.

If I want a life as a bum in a cardboard box, that life is there for me to choose. If instead I want to have a roof over my head, and I want to go to work every day, and I want to be able to feed my cat, that life is there for me too.

  • I asked if I could talk to her again, and she said the inner monologue inside our heads is “us”. We are the ones who actually decided to let the inner monologue go crazy. And anytime that I want to talk to her I can because I’m her.

I cried and laughed so much all night.

You have permission to be yourself

The ego is there, the fears and pains, and happiness, are there for you to choose. So you don’t have to feel bad about feeling anxiety; you don’t have to feel bad about looking a certain way. You get to choose.

I was even given the emotional explanation/journey of what happened to my parents and their divorce. I actually got to feel the emotions through the relationship of both of them and watch the storyline play out.

I realized how much they’ve been through, and how much I really love them.

Looking at Kiwi (my cat) throughout the process the voice would say, Enjoy each other, that’s what you’re here for.

  • I asked her, “If none of it matters, and the pain is a gift, do I really need the surgery?”

Well, that is your choice too. It’s your little spaceship to ride around in. So you decide how you want to take care of it.

It’s our gift to us, a way to experience the universe in a small pocket because it’s so vast and hard to take in. You can decide if you want to exercise, brush your teeth, and eat junk food or healthy food. You get to choose.

So the crystals, the reiki, the western medicine, they’re all just another choice. How do you want to take care of your body? Your choice.


  • I thought about the sea. “So I am the ocean?” I asked.

Ahhh the ocean, I’m especially proud of that one. I’m proud of you too you know. All of you. A life is a big responsibility. And you’re doing great kiddo.

Knowing that we each have absolute permission and acceptance makes it hard for me to be mad at anyone I was mad at. It’s my choice that leaves me mad. It’s all so brilliant. Self-fulfilling. Reproduction, DNA, microbes…Amazing!


  • We talked about wanting to be remembered, and our crazy over stimulated culture full of selfies and recording everything.

Why? You’re only yourself remembering us. And life will continue for millennia. All these human lives will be forgotten eventually. The only purpose of remembering a specific life is if it gives a lesson towards the ultimate goal.

Think about college. Do you really want that degree to matter that much? No?

Well so then it doesn’t! School exists as a way to spread the knowledge between generations for future progression. But it’s not the only way. We have been telling each other stories for thousands of years.

It doesn’t really matter why Stonehenge exists, or how the pyramids were built. They were. Someone chose to build them.


I think life is going to feel weird for a couple of days. If you think about it, I was just told that nothing really matters, because everything does…