The Flowering of Feminine Pleasure: 5 Ways to Overcome Sexual Burnout & Lack of Desire

The Flowering of Feminine Pleasure: 5 Ways to Overcome Sexual Burnout & Lack of Desire


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It’s happening in epidemic proportions: women giving in or giving up on sex. What to do if you’re just not feeling it?

Of course hormonal or medical issues can affect sexual desire so a check-up with your health care provider may be in order. However, I believe that the only thing “sexually dysfunctional” about most women is that they’re waking up.

Maybe you’re one of them. Sex as usual just isn’t working for you anymore. You’re longing to have heart and soul touched by deeper intimacy. You’re exhausted from running so much of your masculine energy. You’re hungry to surrender into your feminine succulence but feel like you’ve lost the way.

Here are 5 steps to finding your way back home.


You gotta start here, sister. Lay it all down and take a big breath of loving kindness. Look at all you’ve been through on your sexual journey. You were born an utterly perfect, vibrant, sensual and sexually awake being. And then life happened.

Into that innocent body of yours, all sorts of ideas about sex and the feminine got downloaded. In the domain of conscious sexuality, you likely had no modeling and no education. You bravely went forward anyway and had a lot of experiences: good, bad, perhaps even abusive. In endeavoring to get your very human needs met, you made some wise choices and some unfortunate ones. That’s how we learn. Know that you did the very best that you could at each moment. Can you have compassion for where you’ve been?


I don’t care how broken you feel or how bad your history, I believe you can awaken, heal and reclaim your sexuality. Our bodies constantly regenerate. You’re a brand new being every few months. At any moment, your heart can break open and light will stream in.

Your yoni (vagina) is very forgiving. Yes, she has memory and there’s work to be done, but she can heal quickly with loving touch and attention. The layers of armoring can be released and your natural orgasmic flow restored. Are you willing to stop repeating the story of stuckness (“I’m too old-damaged-tired”) and allow for new possibilities? I watch women wake up and have breakthroughs every day so I know this is real.


We often tackle sexual “issues” with the same hypermasculine energy of fixing-doing-pushing that likely contributed to the problem in the first place. Enough! Instead of thinking of your sexuality as broken and searching for solutions, stop and simply listen to your body. What is it communicating to you?

If your yoni feels turned-off, dry, or contracted or example, ask her what she longs for. Quiet the mental noise long enough to listen and cultivate some intimacy with her. Get into relationship with her rather than shoving more concepts and labels at her. Does she want to slow down, feel the sunshine, or be softly stroked with coconut oil? Maybe she’s shut down because she’s not trusting whoever wants in. Perhaps in her infinite intuitive wisdom, she’s protecting you. When you stop overriding and pathologizing your body, what can you discover?


Your feminine body is designed for pleasure, flow, and love. You do best when surrounded by beauty. You thrive when honoring your own natural rhythm, having space to follow your creative impulses. Your  huge feminine heart naturally moves through emotional waves: they hit the shore, gently or fiercely, and then recede back to the ocean from which they came.

But the hypermasculine culture where we’ve learned to succeed as modern women does NOT value our authentic feminine Shakti power. (Many would say the entire world teeters on the brink of disaster as result.) It’s not about fitting in a little self-care in the midst of our frenetically busy lives. That’s just a drop in the bucket. We need to learn how to magnetize what’s wanted from the wellspring of our Shakti power. We have to stop the relentless doing and cultivate the power of deep feminine receptivity.

Our sexual energy naturally blossoms in a life where we feel balanced, loved, spacious, healthy. Then our body can move through life in a semi-orgasmic state (regardless of our relationship status, I might add). We feel turned-on, tapped-in, radiant, wet, grateful, and blessed.

If we remain addicted to our masculine “achieving” energy and secretly disdainful of our own inner feminine, the goddess within will likely roll her eyes and go back to sleep. We might still be sexual and dress the part, have “date night,” drive toward the goal of orgasm, get the job done, and then check “sex” off the list for another week…or month. But we’re not likely to have the surrendered passion we long for in our bodies and with our partners.

Because deep within, the goddess grieves, or seethes with rage, knowing that her divine gifts of Shakti continue to go un-given and un-received.


Only you can take this journey. It’s about looking within, befriending yourself, not seeking answers out there. Only your body knows. Comparing yourself with movie stars, media, magazines, and metrics only widens the gap. Your sexuality is unique to you, a sacred gift that only you can agree to open.

Unique to you doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. On this journey, we need trusted guides to show the way. I hope you will consider me an ally and keep leaning into the Awakening Shakti offerings if this resonates with you.

We also need tribe, sisterhood, and red tent sanctuary spaces where we can heal, share our stories, and beat the drum for one another. Growth happens faster, more efficiently and with a great deal more joy when we join together in sacred circle.

So cultivate compassion, remember that nothing is fixed, listen to your body, make room for Shakti and remember that you have both the key and the support you need to find your way back to the Goddess that is you. And keep walking the path, one foot in front of the other.

Blessings and big love to you from Lisa

The upcoming Passion Evolution Summit is a beautiful, free opportunity for you to learn more about conscious sexuality and awakened relationships from the comfort of your own phone. I’m speaking with stellar group of experts including John Gray and Marci Shimoff. Do join us. More Info


Artist Credit: Alaya Gadeh